Beauty Pageant a skit
by Rory McDougal
Summary: Haruhi hosts a beauty pageant to decide who would make the most beautiful girl: Tamaki, Kaoru, or Hikaru.


**Ouran High School Host Club in: The Beauty Pageant**

Scene one:

_Tamaki and the twins are sitting around the clubhouse looking bored. A girl walks past them. Tamaki strikes up a conversation._

Tamaki: Girls are so strange, aren't they?

Twins: Eh, Milord?

Tamaki:_ leaning forward and becoming excited. _I mean, they spend all day trying to look

beautiful for men such as ourselves. They waste away their lives in search of a

fairytale ending.

Hikaru: How do you know this, Milord?

Kaoru: Yes, Milord. You seem to have pondered on this question for quite some time.

Twins: It's not like you're and EXPERT.

Tamaki: _defensively_ It just so happens that I am.

Twins:_ laughing they say sarcastically_ Then we must also be experts!

Tamaki:_ getting angry _Since you think this is so funny, let's have a challenge!

Twins: Yes! _High five_ A game!

Tamaki: We'll have a girl-off!

Twins: You mean like a catfight?

Tamaki: No! We'll have a beauty pageant!

Twins: Oh… _mischeviously_ What will we win?

Tamaki: _very seriously and flirtatiously _HARUHI!

Haruhi: _looking up from the book she was reading _What about me?

Tamaki & Twins: _challengingly_ It's On!

Haruhi:_ very concerned_ Why do I get the feeling this is going to end badly?

Scene two:

Haruhi: Hello, everyone! Welcome to the Ouran High School Host Club's first ever

beauty pageant! Today's contestants will be judged on three things: how good

they look in a dress, what kind of special talents they have, and their High School

Host Club knowledge. Let's begin. First up are Hikaru and Kaoru.

Twins: _Walk out in the same dresses. They twirl around and look beautiful. They_

_ continue this until Haruhi says "Thank you girls…"_

Haruhi: The twins seem to be sporting a lovely black and white version of the school

uniform. Aren't they gorgeous? _Count to five in head_ Thank you girls!

Twins: _back off and stand in the background next to Haruhi_

Haruhi: Next we have Tamaki.

Tamaki:_ walks in all down cast. He hates his dress._

Haruhi.: _Looks at the dress in disgust and pity._ Tamaki seems to be decked up in.. in… in

some kind of … I don't know.

Tamaki: _assumes the doom position_

Haruhi: At least he tried. Thank you Tamaki. Let's give it up for our contestants! Great

Job ladies!

Scene three:

Haruhi: Now onto round two. In this portion of our contest, the girls will try to wow us

with some kind of talent. First up, the Hitachan broth…_ look flustered_ I mean…

sisters!

Twins: _come onto stage. Pull out lipsticks and apply them to each other._

Hikaru: Kaoru, you put on my lipstick so well…

Kaoru:_ holds Hikaru's face _You're face is the only face I ever want to put lipstick on…

Twins: _stare at each other lovingly_

Haruhi:_ looking annoyed, steps in between them _ Yes, yes. Thank you ladies. You are

both very talented in the art of makeup.

Tamaki: _getting jealous, runs on stage with a lipstick_ I bet that none of them are as good

at applying it as us! _hands Haruhi the lipstick_ Here! Put some on me!

Haruhi: _Draws and "X" on Tamaki's face_

Tamaki:_ realizes he's loosing _No! Wait! That wasn't my talent!

Haruhi: _annoyed_ Then what is?

Tamaki: _boldly _I can seduce even the most unfeeling of girls! _he runs over to Haruhi_

_ and bends on one knee. he holds one of her hands._ You're the only girl for me…

Haruhi: _unmoved and very monotone _You're out of control.

Tamaki: _assumes the doom position_

Twins: _laughing hysterically_ He could not even get Haruhi to blush! Hahahahaha!

Haruhi: _holds her head in annoyance, like she has a headache _ Let's just move on.

Scene four:

Haruhi: It's now the final round! We'll ask our contestants to answer three questions, to

their knowledge. Are you ready?

Tamaki & Twins: _nod their heads_

Haruhi: All right. Question one: who is the most egotistical human on earth?

Twins: _hold up white board. it reads: Milord_

Tamaki: _holds up a white board that reads "(insert random politician's name)"_

Haruhi: The twins are correct! Question two: What human being is composed of 10%

good looks, and 90% hot air?

Twins: _hold up white board, which reads "Milord"_

Tamaki: _holds up a math equation that reads "2+5 times the square root of cheese = 15"_

Haruhi: The twins are correct. Tamaki, is that even a reasonable answer?

Tamaki:_ baffled that he got it wrong_

Haruhi: Final question: Who is too pathetic to put into words?

Twins: _hold up whiteboard that reads "Milord"_

Tamaki: _holds up a board that reads "Kyoya"_

Haruhi: Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. It appears that the twins have won.

Tamaki: _assumes the doom position_

Twins: We're bored. _they both take hold of one of Haruhi's arms. She goes with them _

_ Willingly. _Let's go play with the P.A. system.

Tamaki:_ sulking in doom position_

Orange guy: _walks on eating as orange. he stops and stares at Tamaki for a wile._

Tamaki: _looks up at orange guy _ What're you looking at?

Twins & Haruhi: _run on with a large sign that reads "END"_


End file.
